ESafety

Grooming: What is it?

Learn It

  • Grooming is when someone builds an emotional connection with a child to gain their trust for the purposes of abuse, exploitation or trafficking.
  • Children and young people can be groomed online or face-to-face, by a stranger or by someone they know - for example a family member, friend or professional.
  • Groomers may be male or female. They could be any age.
  • Many children and young people don't understand that they have been groomed or that what has happened is abuse.

Answer It

  • Before we watch some videos please answer the following questions:
  • Don't worry these are for you and are not submitted to anyone else.
1. Do you currently use the internet?:
Yes No

If yes: home, school or both?


2. How often to you use the internet?:

3. Do you use interactive internet applications such as:
chatrooms

email

Instant messaging

4. If yes, do you save conversations that you have with people you meet online?

email

Instant messaging

5. Have you ever given out any personal details(like your name, address, phone number, a photo of yourself, your school name, school address) to someone you haven't met face to face when using chatrooms or Instant Messaging?
Yes
No
Don't know

If so, what details have you given?


6. Have you ever threatened or made to feel uncomfortable by someone when using email, Instant Messenger, a chatroom, or your mobile phone?
Yes
No
Don't know

7. If you felt threatened or bullied by someone who contacted you on the internet or on your mobile phone, who would you tell?

If other - whom?

8. Has someone you've met on the internet contacted you by phone or post?
No
Yes
Don't know

9. Have you ever asked or been asked to meet up with somone face to face that you first met on the internet?
Yes
No
Don't know

10. Who would you tell if you were meeting up with someone you met on the internet?

If other - whom?
No one etc..

11. Do you know how to block someone from contacting you on the Internet?
Yes

No

Don't know

12. If you have the internet at home, do you:
Have filtering software?

Use it in front of an adult?

Know that an adult check the history?

Talk to an adult about what you have been doing?

Case Studies: How does it happen?

Learn It

  • Grooming happens both online and in person.
  • Groomers will hide their true intentions and may spend a long time gaining a child's trust.
  • Groomers may try to gain the trust of a whole family to allow them to be left alone with a child and if they work with children they may use similar tactics with their colleagues.
  • Groomers do this by:
    • pretending to be someone they are not, for example saying they are the same age online
    • offering advice or understanding
    • buying gifts, alcohol, drugs
    • giving the child attention
    • using their professional position or reputation
    • taking them on trips, outings or holidays.

Ask It: Clare's Story

  • We are now going to watch some videos and answer some questions.
  • Some of these videos maybe a little upsetting.
  • Remember what we are talking about is probably rare, no one knows the actual numbers as some are potentially unreported, but we need to know about it.
  • Why did Clare met with the man?
  • Why did Clare to talk to the man?
  • How did he really see her?
  • Why did she not tell someone in the first half?
  • Who did she tell?

Ask It: Matt's Story

  • Why did Matt meet with Amber?
  • Where did he met Amber?
  • Could you suggest a more appropriate to place they could have met?
  • Who was Amber?
  • What do we call it when someone pretends to be someone else online?
  • Why do you think he felt he had to go?
  • What should / could Matt have done to prevent the problems which he encountered?
  • Compare Clare's and Matt's stories - what are the similarities? What are the differences?

Ask It: Tom's Story

tom.png

Before watching the next film take each of the following statements and think; what is good about this? what could go wrong?

  • Tom is 12. He has internet access in his bedroom. He often goes online and talks to his school friends.
  • He also enjoys going onto sites where he can chat with people he doesn’t know in the real world.
  • He makes friends with a boy called Jack. He likes chatting to Jack online and they both support the same football team. He even lives nearby!
  • One day when they are chatting online, Jack asks Tom if he wants to go football training with him.
  • How did Jack make Tom feel he was special?
  • What were his reasons for doing this?
  • What other ways might someone try to make another person feel special?
  • What were the things that Tom did which made him vulnerable?
  • What should he have said / done?
  • Why did Tom feel that he couldn't tell anyone about what was happening?
  • What would you do to prevent yourself from getting into a similar situation?

Badge It: Silver / Gold

  • Upload your answers to the questions from the three videos.
  • The quality of your answers will determine the badge awarded.
  • To be awarded the platinum badge your answers need to be of a good standard in regards to green pen matters.

Research It: A real life story

Know It: Helping a friend

If a friend tells you something that worries you:

Don’t judge them, just listen.

  • Try not to put words into your friend’s mouth or tell them what they are feeling.
  • Let them tell you what’s going on.
  • Listen and support them.

Tell them that if you think they’re in danger you will seek help.

  • Don’t promise to keep secrets. No secret which will hurt someone is worth keeping.

Tell an adult you trust about what has happened.

  • This could be your parent/carer, teacher, youth worker, police of cer, doctor or social worker.
  • Ask them to get help for your friend.

You can report what has happened to CEOP yourself, or do it with your friend.

  • Do this by clicking on ClickCEOP button at thinkuknow.co.uk

Get support for yourself.

  • You probably feel very anxious about what your friend has told you. You too need support to deal with what has happened.
  • Talk to an adult you trust about how you are feeling. You might it helpful to talk to a counsellor: you could ask your teacher or doctor to refer you to a counselling service.
  • Remember, you can call Childline to talk to someone at any time of day or night on 0800 1111.

Don't take it all on yourself

  • Be realistic about the situation. You might have done all the right things, but you still might not be able to help your friend.
  • Remember, what has happened is not your fault and you have done your best to get help. Make sure you are getting the support you need yourself.

What if you think there’s something wrong but they haven’t said anything yet?

  • If you’re worried about a friend, don’t be afraid to tell them so. Even if they don’t want to talk, let them know you’re always there to listen.
  • Maybe they’ll change their mind later on. Find more advice about how to support your friends at thinkuknow.co.uk

End of the session game

  • Think of two truths and one lie about yourself.
  • In pairs, youngest first, tell the other person your three 'facts'.
  • Can they guess which are true?

~ Resources were created using the ThinkUKnow.com website.~